My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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