Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
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