No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Help me help you realize you are a moron
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
