Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
