Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
