best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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