whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
