at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
