He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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