Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
