just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
