Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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