i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We got so high we made milksteak
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Randomize
