it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
