That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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