WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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