Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
