DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
