There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
