He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
