This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
