I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
