At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
