the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
