i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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