rhymes with "ouble enetration"
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
