Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Are we still banned from the library?
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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