yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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