I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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