he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
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