I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Randomize
