Walk of Shame. In a state park.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
You are the jesus of drinking
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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