Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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