Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
just found out that she named her cat after me.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
