Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
