Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
