Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
