i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Randomize
