I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
