K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
