Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
