I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You smell like stripper and shame
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
