There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
