man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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