White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
Randomize
