there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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