he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
