Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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