i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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