My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
