Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
