yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Randomize
