nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
